There is no greater pain than being betrayed by your own body.so my chemotherapy got cancelled again last week due to low platelets. It was 65 on 7th, 66 on 14th raised by JUST 1count, well that was very depressing, I’ve been very rude this week, I can’t stop profanities in my language. May be I look ok but deeply depressed. As I write this on 21st of December, I am waiting for my blood test results. Writing this from my phone, prayer is what I need, but I seem to be walking in the valley of death and totally lost right now!! God help me please!!
Update: blood result says “platelets 87” that’s still low but good enough to start the 4th cycle. So right now I am here listening to blackie lawless sing “rubber man” from the album dying for the world while oxaliplatin is running through my veins. Also Dr Chokshi has asked me to take 5 injections to increase WBC and platelet counts.
I Just feel good right now, thank you Lord
Cancer Chronicles 
God wants us healed more than we do, however desperate we may be. That may be a bit difficult to believe but if that was not the case, He would not have made Jesus go through those horrible stripes and the cross. “By his stripes we are healed” – not when we experience it, but when he was beaten 3000 years ago. Healing is a done deal. Trusting and thanking God till we see it with our eyes helps. It may take a while, but trust means not giving in to doubt, depression or discouragement. Trusting also means not being desperate for our own healing instead of enjoying each day with whom God has given to us as our family… God bless you. Let his face shine upon you.