Archive for May, 2011

Monday :

I was asked to Meet Dr Joy at his hospital prior to starting my radiation. Who is Dr Joy? He is the Dr who recommended me to Dr Kamran (who is my surgeon). I had a doubt that since Dr Roy owns the hospital, he just wanted to make sure that I would go back to his hospital for surgery.

9.am: I leave Sairith’s home to Chembur

9.30am: I reach Joy Hospital, i’m told Dr Roy will be coming at 10am and I am the 7th patient in line.

10.00am: waiting at ground floor risking infection among other patients who are waiting for their appointments

11.00 am : Still waiting in very hot condition, No air condition in the waiting room.

11.10: Asked to go 3rd floor to meet Dr Roy, receptionist says 20 minutes more wait

11.40 am: can’t bear the heat, thought I had a heat stroke, feeling VERY weak..  lying down on the bench. Sairith had opted not to come with me but stay in the car. I pity him, he’s waiting for me under the tree outside the hospital

12.15Pm: Finally my turn. Dr Roy does a anal test, then tells me I should go for a CT scan 3 days after the radiation is over, which is exactly what Dr Manish (radiation Oncologist) has NOT adviced, instead he wants me to wait for 3 weeks before doing the CT scan to see the results.

12.20 pm: I am out of Dr Roy’s chamber, it all to 5 minutes for a check up which was TOTALLY NOT REQUIRED because Dr Roy is not my Surgeon Oncologist. Damn! i should have thought about this before going through this ordeal

4.30 pm : After radiation I meet Dr Manish to explain what had happened this morning, he calls Dr Kamran and both are in agreement that CT scan is irrelevant 3 days after the radiation but I should do it after 3 weeks instead.

Boy! what an exhausting day! On a normal day Bombay heat could kill a healthy person just like that, where as I am undergoing chemo and radiation and I thank God for making me able to stand through all that trouble.


Whadyuknow ??? bad day part II. after waiting whole day … Jupiter hospital called me at 2.30 pm to say today’s radiation session is cancelled. WTH WTH WTH WTH?? This is not happening. I am beyond frustration here.

Arrrrrrggggggggggggghhhh !!!

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Let us die young or let us live for ever

So yesterday I thought of beating the weekend blues, I went to Chembur to meet a friend who contributes greatly to my website. We’ve been chatting online for last two years, yesterday was the first time I met her. Funny things happened, We met at this “Le Cafe” restaurant, which looked pretty decent, but service was ‘horrible’. I reached there at 1.30pm, after requesting 100 times the waiter finally took order for our starters which came around 2.30pm. Then at 3.30pm they finally served the main course except mine. They served me some dish full of chillies where as I had ‘Specifically” ordered non-spicy pasta. Meanwhile people at the next table walked out without paying because of the shabby service, while another customer who was over charged 500 INR for a ‘expired’ coke was threatening to sue them. Finally we too didn’t pay for the food and walked out.

Then we went to this another place by when my hunger was dead and I ended up eating sandwich because they weren’t serving lunch after 4PM. It was really a ROFL situation. But I liked it, because to be honest some ‘excitement’ in my boring life finally.

Poor Kid Sairith, he accompanied me through out the ordeal even though he was totally out of the place. To top his misery, last night Manchester united lost to Barcelona 3-1. I have thought of buying him an original Nike ManU tee. He deserves it for all the pain he has gone through because me. Sometimes I wonder if he’s some kind of an Angel in disguise, It’s so hard to find young guys who are so calm like him.

Today’s Sunday, I have no plans to adventure, but sit home and enjoy my social medianess.

Oh! Enjoy life while you can, be kind to others, because at some point we all gonna die and all that we leave behind is memories.

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So it’s happening, hair loss, unfortunately it’s happening ‘down there’.. that’s like WTH 😆 . Also skin seems to darken a bit or may be Indian summer is taking its toll on me. But I’d like to think it’s the chemo effect. Got 6 more radiation sessions, but that would take 10 days, which means I will be in India for another good 2 weeks. By now, I am missing my kid sooooo much, and my wife of course. Damn! she cooks good food, I miss it. Wait, she hasn’t been cooking for last 2 years.. WTH?? am i missing the Maid? (foodwise I mean.. ROFL )

Nothing else to update, because my schedule is like this, I wake up 8am, then Aunty keeps forcing me to eat eat eat. I go for a walk at 9am, then back on the ‘social media’ + Family guy + short nap. Lunch at 2, radiation between 3-5, then back home and back on ‘social media’. Walk in the garden at 8pm, soap less bath at 9, dinner at 10, sleep at 12. Pretty fucked up life boring life yeah? yes indeed. Can’t wait till I home.

I could use a hug right now !

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Now that I am pretty sure that i have 17 ‘avid’ readers, I should make it a point to update this blog everyday (OMG ! Peter reads this everyday!!!). Well, here are couple of updates, Chemo- Part II is going on fine. I mean real fine,  I was expecting hair eyebrow loss and darker finger nails and toned skin, well it hasn’t happened yet. So that’s good I guess yeah?

So 6th is my last radiation session and on 7th I will visiting the surgeon for evaluation, dang! time passes so slowly yeah? still 12 days, 12 effin days sorry, 12 God given days left. Planning a short trip ‘home’ to visit my folks, hope it materializes.

So that’s it my couple of updates. Otherwise I’m relatively happy, Facebook is keeping me happy. In fact I have come to think that facebook is more than just an addiction. I honestly wonder What I would have done if facebook didn’t exist. Probably watched some movies, then get depressed about having cancer. Luckily Facebook has kept me busy, God bless Mark Zuckerberg for this once.

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Quick update.. Blood test results are fine, everything is normal. Praise God, I was pretty worried for no reason. I keep forgetting that this is all happening for everyone to see his Glory. I know, I know probably you must be hating it every time I use the ‘G’ word 😛 but then you must understand that in any grave situation three things get you through which are  ‘Hope, Love & Faith‘.

That’s it, I got no more updates, i shall resume back to being a beaver and get back to my groundhog day 😡

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So I had couple of groundhog days, nothing happened other than I had super awesome time with friends at this restaurant where the sandwiches sucked donkey balls  (although they charged a fortune for that). I love it when ‘metalheads’ meet to gossip about music, we beat women at gossip 😆 Anyways, Tomorrow (Monday) my blood test result will be out, keeping my fingers crossed about it. Since I have had no Chemo or Radiation for the last two days i feel rejuvenated, fresh. From tomorrow my second set of Chemo therapy starts (14days)

Also got email from HR, they are being kind and paying salary according to the law.

that’s it for now. Oh my anus spews mucus as if there is no tomorrow, Doctor says its normal as it is being disturbed due to radiation.

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So yesterday was mad, I mean I was really pissed at the Jupiter Hospital radiation department. I was pretty sure that I had reached the hospital at 3.30pm. After waiting for 2 hours for my turn (which should have been at 3.40 pm) as I entered the room, this lady asks me ‘Mr Lobo, why are you late today?’ And I was like ‘WTF’? . I told her that I have been waiting since 3.30PM, but to my utter surprise she ‘accuses’ me of coming late and to rub salt to the wound says that she ‘saw’ me entering at 4PM. I was so furious, so furious, I told her that I had no reason to lie to her and I know what time I was at the hospital.

As I was lying facedown on the machine. “I COULDN’T PRAY’. I could feel myself burning in anger, mad bad anger !!! . then I realized that my anger wasn’t helping me in anyways and I had to calm down during radiation. But despite of my desperate attempt to calm down and pray, somehow I couldn’t manage my anger and all I wanted to do was give her a piece of my mind when I got down. But… she wasn’t there, guess she left during my turn.

So end result… I was really exhausted by the end of the day as i was unable to empty my feelings. I have myself to blame for not controlling my anger. Anyways, today I have recovered fine.

I had to undergo a blood test this morning, Result will be out on Monday. Kinda worried about the damage chemo tablets has done to my liver. but then putting my trust in God. I know everything will be fine.

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So basically a cancer patient has more chances of surviving than a reckless bike rider. This singer kid from this band met with a bike accident and broke both his thigh bones, lucky I say! he’s still alive.  So should I be optimistic about this whole ordeal? Yes I am, I am pretty positive about all this anal cancer thingy, because I am standing on a rock called faith.

Talking about faith, (Born Again) Christian people scare me. Every one is lip synching no one follows the ‘word.

Talking about Christianity, I haven’t been to church for a long time now. Lately I have been kinda ‘outstanding’ christian (i.e standing outside the church) hope I can set things right in my second innings
Nothing new happening, I am halfway through my radiation, counting days to go home.

oh btw did I mention Krishik has come to stay with us? Poor kid, he’s an aspiring doctor but having tough time with me as I bug him with all that hygiene stuff, also he has hijacked my laptop so I am spending less time on the WWW.

*Yawn !!

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So here’s a recap of my story so far..

  • Sometime back in March 2010, I happened to shit blood, turns out that I have ‘fissures’. I’m told that I will have to change my lifestyle i.e., stop drinking 6 cups of coffee a day, stop eating junk food, and start eating lots of fibers.
  • For the next few months I consult an idiot doctor with no results, and my ‘bad luck’ is so bad, I end up consulting two more idiot doctors inIndia. No relief.
  • Finally, I change my doctor and I’m told to undergo Lateral Sphincterotomy, which went pretty well (October 2010) and I’m out of pain in no time.
  • There was slight bleeding and mucus discharge after 4 months of surgery, I’m told (by another idiot doctor) that it’s common
  • One fine day in April, I had heavy bleeding in stool, which actually scared the ‘shit’ out of me; I tell the doctor something is wrong. He asks me to undergo colonoscopy.
  • Turns out that I have a 4cm wide malignant tumor in my colorectal area which has spread a tiny bit (lymp nodes) without any distance metastasis. So we rush to India to get treated. But after taking second opinion, I have been told to undergo radiation + chemotherapy for 5 weeks, followed by a month of recovery and then surgery. So my family has gone back to Middle east, and I am currently undergoing radiation therapy at the Jupiter Hospital in Thane Mumbai.

That’s the story so far..

meanwhile, i have not  bothered about my workplace, Probably I will have to look for a new Job (for the last 8 years I have had a well paying but ‘least responsible’ job), But i guess that’s OK, It’s time I pull up my pants and get some ‘responsible job’ (or Not)

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So hey ! Sorry for not updating this blog, I got bugged down by ‘I MISS MY FAMILY SO MUCH’ virus.  Hence the silence, also weekends without family are so painful difficult.

So what are the updates? Well, I am gaining weight, either I have put on 2kg’s since last week or the weighing machine is flawed. Nevertheless, I haven’t lost any weight, also now that I have stopped dieting guess all that rigorous hard work was a waste.

Update 2 : 14 days of Chemotherapy tablets are over, it feels like i crossed a huge milestone by eating 84 tablets in 14 days (and all the side effect that is going to occur after eating 3ooomg a day). There is one week break before I start second set of tablets starting next week. Meanwhile I will have to undergo blood test to see the ‘damage’ Chemo has done to my blood cells and liver.

Update 3 : ‘Vile Person’ is on an attacking mode, I don’t blame her, but blame the bloody moon.

Update 4 : Bought a pair of FILA sandals for Sairith, he was so happy, Makes me happy too, I have never seen anyone so selfless and loving, he’s like my brother i never had. I have no idea how to pay him back.

Update 5 : I have been fighting with God for last two days, I have not made peace with him for what has happened (although I am at fault for abandoning His Grace). But then when I lay down on the radiation machine, I spend the best time with Him. I know everything He does has a purpose, just that I am not willing to let go my sinful life. But then is facebooking a sin? 😆

Update 6 : WordPress stats tell me that 17 people read my blog, Hmm ! If you stumbled on this while searching “anal Cancer” .. My word of advice ‘STOP GOOGLING” , things get worse when you look for answers on the net. Just give yourself in hands of God (If you believe in Him) and a good Oncologist. Ever since I have stopped searching google, I guess I am being healed faster.

Have a nice day !

Oh ! 17th is full moon day ! Watch out for your mother in law 😆 … Kidding 😀

Also the picture has nothing to do with this post, just saw the stray dogs having ‘awesome’ time in the gutter. Damn! if you are upto it Happiness can be found …. even in the gutter!

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