It’s bad, when the fear sets in faith walks out. And faith has been missing for few days now. I am living in constant fear that multiple lesions will appear in my liver, heart, lungs, kidneys and doctor will blame me for not opting for chemotherapy. Have i commited a blunder by chosing this path of treatment? Did I make a mistake that is irreversible? These thoughts stalk my mind, and then I look at my son and feel even miserable because I have unfinished business of raising him. Will I leave him halfway through? I don’t want him to hold my hands, i don’t want him to hug me and feel comfortable, I don’t want him to miss me when I am gone. But he doesn’t know, he doesn’t understand that I am battling cancer, though he prays to God to heal me and take my “boo-boo” away, but will God listen?
Yesterday, after 3 days of severe constipation, Visited Dr Behbehani at Al Salam. Isn’t it a wonder when half your fears fly away when you see a doctor? Then he ‘examined’ me, ouch! That was really painful, my ass is still hurting fRom proctoscopy, Dr Behbehani has asked me to undergo colonoscopy as he saw some blood.
Well, that’s what happened so far, I am desperately counting days for October 15, so that my cancer markers will be done at KCCC.
In other newa
* completed 17 years in Kuwait on August 10.
* Revived my old blog, been blogging regularly there (completely cut off from my rock blog which is proving to be good)
* Wife has been driving on the ring roads, she’s good and learning fast.
* got myself galaxy s3, this post is blogged from phone.
* company doesnt care about my existence which again is a good thing.
* Been praying regularly (often rather) feel good to be back with God. I know He missed me.
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