Archive for October, 2012

Back to square one

Thought I will never have to blog here ever again, I thought the nightmare was over, well! I wished too soon. The nightmare is back in a newer version, this time in lungs. After my liver resection doctors at KCCC had stopped my chemo saying that the cancer may be in remission. Yesterday i did a CT scan (after 3 months) and Dr B said that the lesion in my lungs which was .6mm has now grown to 1.2cm and needs to be resected. I broke down at doctors office, I cant think of yet another surgery, but then it is inevitable, I must undergo knife once again, that would make it surgery no 5 in last one year. Which will be followed by 6 months of chemo. So yeah, I’m done.

Wife hasn’t taken the news well, we were very jolly before the meeting with oncologist then came out all pale faced. She brokedown in the car. I tried to console her, but we both know that this is how far we can get now. Doctor B said that usually colon cancer patients become inoperable after certain time, but I am one of those few cases that have a fighting chance. I have put up a good show so far, I completely quit meat and become vegan, have stopped tea even but looks like my fate isnt in sync with me.

So 8th November is PET scan which will happen at KCCC, I have 15 more days to enjoy with my family before I pack my bags to India once again. I wanted to go yo mangalore this time to my parents becsuse I dont want to burden Shirley aunty anymore, I told them so, she cried and then I agreed to do my surgery in Bombay (if it comes to that, I know it will)

Financially we are not stable right now because we bought a piece of land in Mangalore (hoping that our bad days were behind us) this is going to hurt us bad this time. I am not sure how my company is going to handle this situation this time, they have been kind to me and allowed me to work just half day. I dont know if they are willing to hold on to me forever (till Im gone)

My kid is turning into a handsome boy, too bad I am not going to be around to see him grow and thats what is hurting reallh bad even more than the thought of surgery or pain.

Read Full Post »