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Posts Tagged ‘metastasis’

Here’s what happened after the last post, KRAS report finally came and I was administered my first doze of Chemotherapy on 20th of June. Finally on 24th of June I  came back to Kuwait to be with my family. Oh Boy Oh Boy! My son has grown so much in last two months, it was like seeing a new person altogether. He definitely missed me so much because for the last two months he has been not going to any malls since my wife doesn’t drive.

Visited Dr B at KCCC only to be shocked that he is of the opinion that I don’t require chemotherapy ‘since I am out of cancer’ . It didn’t make sense to me while all the other doctors have been advising chemotherapy, only Dr B is of the opinion that I do not require chemotherapy. Which means I will have to shuttle from Kuwait to India 11 times which also means our finances will be drained and physically I will be so stressed with all that travelling.

Well, Yesterday I underwent yet another CT scan at Dar Al Shifa Kuwait, and the Result has been good. No cancer detected in any part of my body. And the CEA result is good too. Prior to the liver resection it was 3.08 now its’ 0.99. We visited Dr Abdullah Behbahani at Al Salam Hospital who too was the opinion that I should continue with chemotherapy and has promised that he would speak to someone at KCCC so that my chemo will go on schedule.

Since then we have been praying… YES PRAYING!! I have finally surrendered. I have been holding myself back from God all this time, sometimes questioning, sometime arguing, and sometimes even questioning his existence.  But no more, I changed, I had to change, I couldn’t carry the burden anymore. I have been bitter ever since I was diagnosed with Cancer, I’ve been reckless because I was mighty upset at the fact that I had to leave this life at its prime. May be I needed counselling but when I look back I have not dealt with the situation well. Finally after the liver resection I gave up, I couldn’t hang on to the world anymore for all its glory.  Got rid of my rock blog, got rid of facebook (though pretty much active on twitter) and got rid of all that negative Metal Music that has been affecting my life. Yes it’s a total surrender, no conditions apply.

After watching the events that have unfolded in last two months, I have no reason whatsoever to doubt God now, may be I am a fool to my atheist friends, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I’d rather be a fool for God than be a fool that does not believe in God.

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