What would be your reaction, if your oncologist told you that there are two treatment paths, but it is up to you to select one?
Dilemma, chaos, uncertainty, confusion, frustration, anger..
These are the few emotions I am undergoing right now.. Wanna know why?
After Dr B disagreed to administer Chemo, I approached Dr Behebehani for third opinion, he assured that I needed chemo and would discuss it with the “Head” of KCCC. (I am highlighting ‘head’ because Dr N at KCCC is highly reputed doctor with over 25years of experience) After much waiting over a week, finally Dr N answered that ‘KCCC would administer chemo.. although expected benefit is questionable‘
So today morning I met with Dr B, he said that he had discussed my case with HoD and explained the situation to us. Told us the pros and cons of Chemotherapy (Treatment plan A) and the pros and cons of ‘Observation’ (Treatment Plan B) and then said ‘it’s your body, since you are one of the few colon cancer cases who has successfully recovered from liver resection, We are not sure how chemotherapy will benefit you, will it kill the cancer cells or will it damage your liver / other vital organs, we don’t know. It’s all a guess, if you ask me I’d say lets monitor you closely (cancer markers/CT scan) for the next 3 months and then check if the disease has relapsed, if so then we still have 3 more drugs that could help us with the treatment. Choice is yours, as a patient I respect your decision to opt for chemo or not‘.
It felt like after waiting for a week I was back to square one all again …
So what I am suppose to do now? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know, but … I have left it to God, I know God speaks, he spoke loud and clear in my ears that ‘YOU ALL WILL BE GUIDED’ .. but that was in 1993, I have lost and found him several times since then. But this time I want him to speak to me again…. desperately.
Meanwhile I am reading ‘Hope in the face of Cancer‘ by Dr Amy Givler. Amazing book, felt as if I was reading through the pages from my experience throughout this ordeal. If you are a cancer fighter or know someone who is battling cancer, I highly recommend you to read this book. It is very helpful in dealing with the situations that are beyond your understanding, and also renews your spirit to fight cancer and not give up.
Cancer Chronicles 