I didn’t have to die to go to heaven

This blogpost is dedicated to my wife,

So as the title says ‘ I didn’t have to die to go to heaven, I just had to go home‘  (Lyric from Heaven by 3 doors down)

So here’s what happened since August 21st.

After meeting Dr Nilesh who is my medical oncologist at Joy hospital, I was  told that ‘all wounds must be healed before the chemotherapy begins’ . Now, since my ileostomy reversal wound had developed puss and wasn’t healing Dr Kamran advised me to get the wound re-stitched again . Ouch !! I know, So Dr Sachin did the needful on August 24th and said that I should let it heal for at least 20 days. SHITT!!!

Now that I had reached the thresh hold of my depression level and aunty Shirley and Uncle Godwin too had gone on 4 days vacation to Mangalore, I couldn’t wait to see my family any longer, so my darling wife booked me a first class ticket and I was home after an exhausting 10 hour journey. But then …. I saw him coming charging towards me at the airport and I knelt down, He hugged me so hard and said ‘Dada, I missed you’ !! and I can tell you, I will fight every damn cancer cell if I have to, I just don’t want to miss my family again. I know God will take care of the situation.

Meanwhile, I am so glad to be back home, Wife has been taking utmost care, I can’t bless the Lord enough for such a wonderful person in my life. (Yeah, she gets ticked when I talk about my mother, but that’s OK, I didn’t ask for a total flawless wife 😆 )

Good news, My shop is under renovation, so I didn’t miss much work. I hope to resume for few days before I head to India for Chemotherapy. Also enjoying driving in Kuwait. I hated being under house arrest during the incessant rains in Bombay.

Nothing more to update now… if you stumbled on this blog for any reason.. Eat fibres, Pray, Love your family, God takes care of every tiny bit of your life.

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All is well that ends well, at least all is well, if it has a bright chance to end well.

Something happened since I got discharged from the hospital on August 12th.. I didn’t poop for 4 days, that is FOUR DAYS!!! Then On the fourth day, I had to visit the doctor and was on enema in no time. That was a relief, since then I am pooping on my own. Although there are complications which I don’t like to explain, but things looks good, I’m told it will be another 6 months or a year to get used to my new bowel system.

Meanwhile, as I mentioned in my previous post that there was some puss in the wound, Doctors have advised not to take off my stitches until tomorrow (Monday), I hope my wound is dry, because any delay will mean that my post surgery chemotherapy will be delayed, which means I will be not seeing them any time soon.

Talking about family, I have had some breakdowns in last few days, specially when I saw the size of the wound, I just lost hope and missed my family soooooooo much! but then she’s been standing behind me like a pillar whenever I have lost faith, So I have renewed my faith in God and I know things will turn out good. So hoping for the best and not letting my spirit down even when things don’t look good.

That’s all for now… More tomorrow !

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Deliverance is here !

Wow ! I didn’t blog for the longest time… so here’s what happened

5th August : I got admitted at Joy Hospital Chembur, Bombay.

6th August : I got operated for ileostomy reversal by Dr Kamran A Khan (Surgeon Oncologist)

7th August : Pain .. not even liquids allowed … only IV drips

8th August : More pain … still no liquid allowed .. just IV drips .. Lips are all dried up .. But I am ok with that.

9th August : Puss in the wound .. but there is good news .. I pooped. Yes finally after 27 days of rest I finally pooped through my anal canal. Doctors are happy that things are going well. They tell me not to worry about the puss.

10th August : Water is given every half an hour .. but just 10 ml.. which tastes like drops from heaven.

11th August : I am told to take soups etc in the morning .. later Doctor tells me I can take soft food. Which again tastes so yummy.

12th August: Despite of eating moderate quantity .. poop has stopped. Doctors say not to worry as long as gases are passed. Which is kinda relieving to hear. Guess What?? I am discharged from Hospital by evening. Although the ‘dressing change’ episode kicked the life out of me.

13th August: I am home in Airoli. Feels good. Not much pain too.. In fact I didn’t sleep the whole day but spent time mostly on the internet. Feels good to be back !

Meanwhile certain developments, My uncle who is taking care of my wife and son has gone crazy, just because he has an unfaithful wife (or what he suspects her of) he’s doubting my wife, which is kinda sad, because I hate it when people whom you love get all protective and creepy. I should call him and give him a piece of my mind.. but wife says she can handle the situation. If only she knew driving she wouldn’t have taken that idiots help!! Hope I get on my feet soon and go home fast to settle all the issues before they get out of hand.

In other news, My website turned 3, yes Indianrockmp3.com is three years old and has 13,65,000 hits and 21,300 fans which kinda makes me happy. Although there are issues with typo’s and grammatical errors, I guess when you have 3k hits every day … who cares??

Nothing else for now, Just hope that, that creepy bastard stays away from my family !

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I will FIGHT BACK !

So hey ! Me again,

Sorry for not updating the site for 5 days, In fact I totally forgot about this place untill i was surprised by the tears that were rolling down the cheek without my knowledge, Not the first time though … but i guess that’s ok. Men cry at night (and blog afterwards) !

So here’s what happened in that 6 days, I got discharged from Joy hospital last Monday (i guess, i have lost track of days and weeks), So as it was one big technical error and I was supposed to be out by 12PM , turns out so just because of one call I was held back till 8.30PM , last-minute oozing of wounds, colostomy bag changes etc and finally we were back in Airoli at 9pm

Next 3 days were really miserable, crunching stomach pain, followed by diarrhoea.  So for three days I was literally gasping for air, whilst getting upset at any one who called to check my well-being because I could barely gather strength to speak. Except for my wife I had to put up a brilliant ‘Hey Honey, I’m fine” show, but eventually she found out that I was suffering.

So, after the third day, i regained my ‘desire’ to eat food, and been slowly getting back to normal. I have had issues with

That's not me !

the leaking colostomy bag, but Sairith and Shirley Aunty have been there for me every step of the way. Even Godwin Uncle who was sick himself took care of me. So how do I ever give them back?? I pray to God to show me how.

In other news, tomorrow my stitches will be removed, am I scared? yeah a bit.. but that’s ok, I will live with that. Meanwhile I have gotten used to the colostomy bag, it leaks at times, then it’s not the end of the world. Every damn problem has a solution.. this shall pass  too .  Best part is I don’t have to wash my ass 😆 for now that is. Oh just in case you didn’t know what is colostomy is..  my ass is officially in my stomach now. wait.. let me post a picture for you ! You think it’s gross? I thought for a while, but now I am totally cool with it. Shit happens .. So what??

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Finding happiness in strange places

So hey ! Sorry for not updating this blog, I got bugged down by ‘I MISS MY FAMILY SO MUCH’ virus.  Hence the silence, also weekends without family are so painful difficult.

So what are the updates? Well, I am gaining weight, either I have put on 2kg’s since last week or the weighing machine is flawed. Nevertheless, I haven’t lost any weight, also now that I have stopped dieting guess all that rigorous hard work was a waste.

Update 2 : 14 days of Chemotherapy tablets are over, it feels like i crossed a huge milestone by eating 84 tablets in 14 days (and all the side effect that is going to occur after eating 3ooomg a day). There is one week break before I start second set of tablets starting next week. Meanwhile I will have to undergo blood test to see the ‘damage’ Chemo has done to my blood cells and liver.

Update 3 : ‘Vile Person’ is on an attacking mode, I don’t blame her, but blame the bloody moon.

Update 4 : Bought a pair of FILA sandals for Sairith, he was so happy, Makes me happy too, I have never seen anyone so selfless and loving, he’s like my brother i never had. I have no idea how to pay him back.

Update 5 : I have been fighting with God for last two days, I have not made peace with him for what has happened (although I am at fault for abandoning His Grace). But then when I lay down on the radiation machine, I spend the best time with Him. I know everything He does has a purpose, just that I am not willing to let go my sinful life. But then is facebooking a sin? 😆

Update 6 : WordPress stats tell me that 17 people read my blog, Hmm ! If you stumbled on this while searching “anal Cancer” .. My word of advice ‘STOP GOOGLING” , things get worse when you look for answers on the net. Just give yourself in hands of God (If you believe in Him) and a good Oncologist. Ever since I have stopped searching google, I guess I am being healed faster.

Have a nice day !

Oh ! 17th is full moon day ! Watch out for your mother in law 😆 … Kidding 😀

Also the picture has nothing to do with this post, just saw the stray dogs having ‘awesome’ time in the gutter. Damn! if you are upto it Happiness can be found …. even in the gutter!

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