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Posts Tagged ‘CT scan’

Here’s what happened after the last post, KRAS report finally came and I was administered my first doze of Chemotherapy on 20th of June. Finally on 24th of June I  came back to Kuwait to be with my family. Oh Boy Oh Boy! My son has grown so much in last two months, it was like seeing a new person altogether. He definitely missed me so much because for the last two months he has been not going to any malls since my wife doesn’t drive.

Visited Dr B at KCCC only to be shocked that he is of the opinion that I don’t require chemotherapy ‘since I am out of cancer’ . It didn’t make sense to me while all the other doctors have been advising chemotherapy, only Dr B is of the opinion that I do not require chemotherapy. Which means I will have to shuttle from Kuwait to India 11 times which also means our finances will be drained and physically I will be so stressed with all that travelling.

Well, Yesterday I underwent yet another CT scan at Dar Al Shifa Kuwait, and the Result has been good. No cancer detected in any part of my body. And the CEA result is good too. Prior to the liver resection it was 3.08 now its’ 0.99. We visited Dr Abdullah Behbahani at Al Salam Hospital who too was the opinion that I should continue with chemotherapy and has promised that he would speak to someone at KCCC so that my chemo will go on schedule.

Since then we have been praying… YES PRAYING!! I have finally surrendered. I have been holding myself back from God all this time, sometimes questioning, sometime arguing, and sometimes even questioning his existence.  But no more, I changed, I had to change, I couldn’t carry the burden anymore. I have been bitter ever since I was diagnosed with Cancer, I’ve been reckless because I was mighty upset at the fact that I had to leave this life at its prime. May be I needed counselling but when I look back I have not dealt with the situation well. Finally after the liver resection I gave up, I couldn’t hang on to the world anymore for all its glory.  Got rid of my rock blog, got rid of facebook (though pretty much active on twitter) and got rid of all that negative Metal Music that has been affecting my life. Yes it’s a total surrender, no conditions apply.

After watching the events that have unfolded in last two months, I have no reason whatsoever to doubt God now, may be I am a fool to my atheist friends, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I’d rather be a fool for God than be a fool that does not believe in God.

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YOU WILL DEFINITELY LOSE !

Well today was crazy brutal day! I was scheduled to undergo CT Scan at KCC. After spending a sleepless night I reached there by 6.30 am just so that I will be the first one to finish. And then I read the application it said 8AM and No scan without RFT test within a week. Luckily I had done a test at the private hospital yesterday, So I rushed all the way back to that hospital (almost 10 miles) to get that. Did a big mistake, took a wrong turn, what would have taken me 10 minutes took me nearly 45 minutes to reach. After collecting report (which were  normal by God’s grace) I rushed back to KCC.

Now they had me in shock when they asked me to pay 35KD for CT Scan where as I had just 20KD in my pocket. I was just started to get dizzy at this moment, after all that driving on empty stomach this wasn’t expected. I asked several guys if they knew where the nearest ATM was, after being misguided and landing at Maternity hospital by the seaside, I just parked the car and tried to call my wife, she did not pick the phone, after several tries I thought I couldn’t physically take this anymore, probably if I pushed myself further I might meet with an road accident. So I decided to give up and head home. Just when I WAS ABOUT TO EXIT .. I saw the ATM,just for a tiny second. JUST A TINY SECOND.Split second decision, turned the car around and withdrew money, paid the bill, got my CT scan done.

Meanwhile this male nurse groped me while I was on the CT Scan table, honestly it didn’t matter, Since my surgery I became so used to people, touching me,  giving me bath etc etc, I just ignored the dude who was taking advantage of his profession.

Anyways… what should have ended in failure was a success in the end, Just because I tried, let me say that louder BECAUSE I TRIED !!!  Somehow I am not scared of the results anymore, I had this bitter 2 weeks period where I went nuts and made my wife to breakdown. I realized that I was being a jerk with my situation, but then may be I am having mood swings because of the medication. But now I have made my peace, I am going to be as positive as Mount Everest, Gonna stand tall, No matter what!!

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So the day has arrived, my wife and kid have left to middle east. Her job is important at this moment as we need to have money coming in. Although insurance is covering most of the cost, at present we need to be self sufficient. My son though doesn’t have much clue other than ‘dada has bohoo in the bum’ and needs medicine.
I have relocated to airoli with my wifes aunt. I cried bitterly when I entered their house because I missed my wife n kid so much. But they gave me strength, now i feel better. Did go out to the local grocery store wearing a mask as I am not supposed to catch infection.
I’m glad I made a decision of moving to airoli as I am being pampered. I hope these days end soon and I will see my kid again

Update : I am very happy today, although I miss my family so much,  Aunty is taking good care of me, she reminds me of my mother. And my cousin is an angel, I am really blessed to be with them.

Today i had to undergo another CT planning… again, Dr Manish wants to make sure that the plan is foolproof  so that they don’t radiate unwanted places. Sleeping on chest while things being inserted into your anus is not fun i tell you 😛 ,  Never thought doctors will be sodomizing me someday 😆 .

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So that went well, today was ‘Planning’ day. Met Mr Roger (CT Tech) at the Jupiter hospital, one of the happiest people I have met these days. I was asked fast 4 hours prior to the scan and had to drink a bottle of fluid and other formalities including ‘analyzation’ .. again !

Anyways, right now I am put up with one of most vile person on planet earth. So I need to move out of this place to someplace where I won’t be depressed once my wife and son move back to Gulf for a month while I undergo Cheo/Radiation simultaneously.  I have to send them back so that Jay won’t miss school. It’s his first year at school and he has already missed a week. He is really missing ‘home’ which makes me sad, I really wish I didn’t have this sickness.

And my radiation therapy starts on 4th may, so I have this tiny gap to enjoy the crowd.

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